My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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