As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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