he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
