yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You can't motorboat a personality
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
