I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize