I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
