his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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