Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
