yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
