Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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