And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
