This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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