rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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