but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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