I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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