i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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