she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
