party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
