im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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