Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
