So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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