...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
