You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
