I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
