So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize