He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
