uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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