I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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