Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
two words: eviction party
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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