i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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