NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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