he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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