If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
