I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
