Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
