You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
