Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
