i was rollin on her like bob the builder
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
smell my finger.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
