Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
