I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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