im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
