What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
