i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
