Yo dont text me then not text me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
