Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
dude. I can hear the air.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
