Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
