It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
