Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
