I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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