There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
