she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
