my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
