I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
COCAINE IS GR8
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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