thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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