We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
