A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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