In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
