dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
