i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
