OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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