Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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