I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize