he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My life is pants optional.
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