break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
