Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I want her autograph on my taint
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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