look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
