Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
