If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
