i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
