afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
