I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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