I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I will pee on everything he values.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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