You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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